Black, red and tan....

So, long time no see - whatcha been up to I hear you ask????? Well, where do I start...

In March 2010 we purchased our 7th house in 10 years - yep, crazy huh? This home was to be the final instalment in our Property "portfolio"...

As we lovingly restored our Late 1950's abode, we had in the back of our mind that we HAD to complete our family. "Elroy Jetson" is our only child - a fabulous creation who turns 11 this year. No matter how many times we tried, another  "Draper" was not to be.

My "loins fruited" for another Family Member. It was time to welcome a "Puppy" to our world. Someone for me to "Mother". Someone for "Don" to wrestle. Someone for "Elroy" to shower his affection.

We knew that if we were to have another "Child", she was likely to be as strong-willed, creative and outgoing as her Mum, with a bit of  Business and sci-fi fun thrown in. She was surely to try her utmost to make her mark on the World, oh how unprepared we were...

Having a love for larger breeds, we knew she needed to be "confined", at least long enough for us to watch and rewind and watch again, every episode ever made by Caesar Milan - THE Dog Whisperer.

With plans for "modern" practical 50's styled fences in the forefront of our minds, we employed "Fred the Fence Dude". "Fred"opitimised the stock standard Aussie. He arrived in his work ute. His red cattle dog had to stay home, because, um, we didn't have a fence...... On "smoko" breaks "Fred" would "yarn" with me about his younger days on the farm where he would drink from a tin cup which hung on the tap of the water tank. I loved him from the start.

As "Fred" dug holes, used string to create a visual boundary and drew "plans" for me on scraps of fibro, the excitement mounted. Our baby could soon come home...

Then the rains came.....The wettest weeks in history. Our gardens became mushroom sites and you couldn't see the grass for the mud. No matter, our Daughter "Patsy Cline" wouldn't be weaned from her Mummy for a few weeks yet. Heaps of time for the animals who came in "two by two" to find a new home on higher ground.

The rain fell....and fell.... and fell....

The dirty washing piled up and the towels in the bathroom grew a batch of penicillin.

The fence was unfinished. No matter how hard "Fred" tried to work in the rain, the fear of catching his death of cold and the impending doom of "death by power tool" caused him to leave us. He rigged a makeshift pool fence on one side.....just in case "Don" decided to bring Patsy home early....totally missed that hint....

Days passed and the rain stayed. Every now and then a glimmer of sunlight caused the city of Brisbane to cheer with delight, only for their hopes to be dashed with the arrival of another dark and pendulous cloud.

"Elroy" and I contracted a potentially deadly strain of "cabin-fever". We decided to "get the heck off the island".  As my beard grew longer and I began to talk to basketballs and light fires, we trudged through the mud and made it to the safety of my car "Paris the Yaris".

I knew I had some fabulous buttons arriving anyday in the mail. New vintage stock for....are you ready...."The Click-Clack Lounge" 491A Lutwyche Road, Lutwyche. So Elroy and I made way to the Post office via our local Cafe .

We knew "Don" would be finishing work early, around 4pm, so when my phone rang just after midday and Don's voice remarked "I'm home", "Elroy" became a little suspicious. He had a dream the night before that Patsy Cline had fallen asleep in his arms.....hmmm, surely Don wasn't going to surprise us... Fenceless, 'de-fenceless' and rainbooted, we made our way home.

As we pulled up at our abode, all manner of prevention was in place. Our 150 saucer chairs had been removed from the front patio. Our front door was closed. The front gates were locked a la Gracelands.

We tip toed up the front steps....as gingerly as Ginger Rogers or a packet of chocolate covered ginger from Darrell Lea. As we opened the front door, there was sitting THE MOST ADORABLE "ode to a Country Singer" - our Puppy Patsy Cline.

I burst into tears - I realise now that my tears weren't from the sight of her gorgeous face, but from the realisation that she was black, I was red (with anger) and THE MUD THAT WAS EVERYWHERE WAS TAN.......

As if on cue, the heavens opened and incy wincy was again washed from the water spout.

Not wanting to spoil my vintage ensemble whilst running after our newest family member, I stripped down to my petticoat and undies. If you've never seen a woman run through mud, wearing only her undies, you should have been at our place that day. As mud squelched between my toes, visions of Dita Von Teese came to mind. Except I wasn't bathed in champagne, but rain water and slop.

And so it came to pass, that Patsy Cline came to live with us. Sharing our love of Rockabilly by claiming my favourite leopard skin cushion as her own. And using a piece of vintage fur as her "blanky".

"Fred" the fence dude is due to arrive sometime today to finish his creation.

Meanwhile, "Don" mows through the still drenched slimy back yard,  Elroy plays his fiftieth game of PS3 and I sit here typing away with a mud covered Patsy at my feet..

I pause a moment to "sniff" the air. (Maybe I really am Patsy's Mummy afterall??) Where the heck is  that weird smell of mould coming from???? ......arrrrgh - the towels are still in the washing machine and my muddy petticoat is lying in the bath..........

Crazy!!!