Something sounds fishy...

When we moved into our 1950's abode, we found all manner of interesting paraphenalia stashed under our house.

Old sieves, anodised lights, hand carved walking sticks, very cool laminate and a big terracotta bowl on 3 legs. I'm far from being "turned on" by all things modern and "terracottery" but this bowl really floated my boat..maybe it had something to do with the tripod legs...a little Sputnik if you ask me...stay with me here...visualise an oversized glazed ashtray.

I've always wanted an outdoor fish pond, complete with bailer shells for the fish to hide in to "play cards" and generally run amock out of the sight of prying eyes.

My Nephew, whom we shall come to know as "Chef-Man", water proofed the bowl for me so that we could rush to the local pet store ASAP to purchase fish.....the bowl sat in our garage for three months whilst I waited for "Don Draper" to change out of his suit and tie and make time to fill the bowl with water.

Eventually "Don" and our Son "Elroy Jetson" jumped in Don's car, the "Black mambaaaaaagh" and squealed down the road, Johnny Cash blaring for effect.

I made my way to "play" at The Click-Clack Lounge......491A Lutwyche Road, Lutwyche. All matter of fabulousnessess stocked by me - BUY SELL RETRO VINTAGE - BUT I DIGRESS...always the entrepreneur ;)

On my return I found a beautiful display of fish tranquility - bailer shell, TIKI, weeds, 3 little mozzie eating fish and 3 orange gold fish - the gold fish were to be named Buddy, Holly and "Whitey" - yes "Elroy" named Whitey and made him/her (it's difficult to know if fish are Boys or Girls) his own - I realise he/she was named Whitey because of the white flash on his/her face.

Whitey reminded me of a girl I used to hang out with in the 80's - a Goth with orange hair and baby powder on her face - ahh those were the days.

Each morning "Elroy" fed his fish and loved his fish and counted his fish. Until one dreadful morning as he counted 1,2,3,4,5......MUUUUMMMMM - Whitey has gone......I looked all around the bowl, maybe Whitey had a hangover from playing cards too late and was chillin' in the bailer shell.  He/she was no-where to be found. And then....dum dum dum dum duuuuuuu-uuuum. Whitey was found laying next to the bowl in a pool of gelatenous - ness. It's amazing how goldfish go gooey when they've been dead for a few hours.....erk.

A funeral followed. Whitey was buried under the begonia next to the fish bowl, so that he/she could still be near his/her Friends.

What the bloody heck was I going to do to prevent mass hysteria and fish that may become lemmings....I didn't want the other residents to follow suit and "jump off the cliff"....

I dug around in one of my box stashes in our ahem - "garage come storage come restoration room" to find a vintage white mesh curtain, complete with scalloped hem and threw it haphazardly over the bowl. It looked fabulous....NOT!!

"Don Draper" arrived home that night to proclaim - "What the bloody hell is that ugly looking thing thrown over the fish bowl? It makes the whole front patio look like s@&t....."As if our patio didn't already look like s@&t - it is cluttered with all manner of iron outdoor furniture, atomic plant stands, budgie cage hangers, dead cactis (yes, I can kill cactis - a greeen thumb I'm not) and donkey planters. We like to call our patio "The Cafe".

Weeks passed and the once white curtain became covered in green slime and leaves and rotten gold fish flakes. "Why the bloody hell is that ugly looking thing still thrown over the fish bowl, it makes the patio look like s@$t." THANKS DON, I GET IT!!!!!!!!

Off I went to "play" at The Click-Clack Lounge - did I mention where it is????

I arrived home, covered in paint and sweating like a pig. As I prepared to sit in "the cafe" to have a beer and re-group before entering into the caos we know as life, I glanced over to the fish bowl.

The curtain had been trimmed "neatly" using a dark green permanent marker as a guideline for cutting. In each corner, a rock was "sewn" to prevent the curtain from falling into the slimy abyss. A "contrasting" greeny-black stain in the centre complemented the black "stitching" that "Don Draper" had so proudly completed on my sewing machine...I'm fairly sure he used a gathering stitch..either that, or he didn't put the "foot" down on the machine and the machine zoomed out of control.

The threads on the corners were however finished nicely, as "Don" had asked me months ago "Why do you press that button at the end of the material and go backwards and forwards"..I had explained the importance of finishing off the seam....he must have listened to me for a change.....

All-in-all not a bad attempt for a Corporate High Flying Business Man who had only ever sewn one other thing in his life - a sarong which was not wide enough and allowed his quite cute bum to peek out...but again, I digress....

I like to think that "Whitey" is gazing down on her peeps from Deadpet Heaven, her white fluttery feather angel-fish wings (or should I say gold-fish wings) encircling them with love and helping them all to cheat at cards.

The Great Aristoc Debarcle

There's nothing more exciting than finding a design treasure in an Op Shop - and you just happen to have the trailer on the car ready to take it home ON THE SPOT!!

A few months ago I found what I thought was a truly great find, at one of my favourite "secret spots".

In the 50's and 60's Grant Featherston designed some really cool chairs, tables and desks for Aristoc. For those of you not in the know, they sort of looked like skinny black legged creations akin to the aliens in the modern "War of the Worlds".

Fabulous laminate table top "slabs"and studded vinyl seats seemed suspended, "almost" sitting on Giant spider like legs. Matt black metal enhanced by gaudy gold feet. YUM!!

My heart skipped a beat when I saw an entire 6 seater dining suite in pristine condition. My poor Husband, whom you will come to know as "Don Draper",  rolled his eyes, knowing full-well that I wasn't letting this baby go.

As I triumphantly handed over my dosh, I recalled seeing Aristoc dining suites in Vintage Price Guides for over $800. My god, I'm gonna make a mottser on this....

How wrong I was.....

This was in the days prior to The Click-Clack Lounge and in a time when I thought the "Vintage" World was at my feet.

I hurriedly listed my newest aquisition on Ebay - planning ahead of time, searching for the ultimate Barsony lamp which I was to purchase with all the "doe" I was to make from the sale of my dining suite.

Days passed. 10 watchers. 20 watchers. 37 watchers. No bids. No bids. No bids. No sale.

Maybe I didn't have enough photos on my listing....

Re-list. Days passed. 14 watchers. 27 watchers. 35 watchers. No bids. No bloomin' bids. No sale.

Maybe I had the suite listed in the wrong category.....

Re-list. Days passed. Watchers came and watchers left. No bids. NO FREAKIN' BIDS. NO FREAKIN' SALE.

Then I committed the mortal rule of the Vintage Dealer. I separated the chairs from the table. Maybe someone just needs the chairs. Maybe someone just needs the table.....

As "stuff" overflowed in our garage, the table and chairs became hidden under a pile of Tiki Bars, swivel egg chairs, cupboards that needed sanding, lamps that needed lampshades, eskies that, under the stressful circumstances, should have been filled to the brim with cans of JD & coke...

And just as I was about to leave the bloomin' suite on the side of the footpath for the Council truck to crunch-up,....THE CHAIRS SOLD!!!!!! I was ecstatic.....BUT the BLOODY TABLE WAS STILL THERE....

Re-list. Days passed. 10 watchers. 13 watchers. 25 watchers. With a starting price of $0.99, surely one of these dudes will bid. No bids....UNTIL.... my saviour, whom I shall call "Mintie Girl" came to my rescue. I SOLD THE TABLE FOR $0.99....

Honestly, knowing she would have to carry so much cash to pick up the table, made me nervous for her. We decided to organise an Armoured Guard to escort her with her payment to our house. She arrived safely with her Beau "Mr Muscle" in tow to help with the load.

"Don Draper" had ensured that the table was easy to load into the "Mintie Girl's" car.

But the curse of the Aristoc Table arose like a sludge of water from a mozzie ridden swamp.

In true form, the table DID NOT FIT IN THE BLOODY CAR. SO near and yet so far.

As I pulled the garage door down, I tucked my Aristoc table back into bed. Familiar in it's surroundings. Safe and cosy amongst the Fler chairs,  my Pop's cupboard and my newest aquisition - a gorgeous deco shop counter.

"Mr Muscle" will return tomorrow with a bigger truck.........and I'm off to skull a strong JD and coke....if only I could reach the esky......





 

Welcome to The Click-Clack Lounge

I've opened a window to my life. I love all things vintage and retro. All things quirky...and I'm coming out of a hoarding quarter century.

How does a girl with a shocking Flu become the owner of a life-saving "operation" called The Click-Clack Lounge?....Read on...

As I lay in bed with a temperature which could kill a hippopotamus, causing me to hallucinate, I stared in disbelief at the Tretchikoff print "Miss Wong" on my bedroom wall,  transforming into a real life Hair Model. Her raven black hair flowed over her shoulders as her blue face curled into a crazy smirk.

I rolled over to prevent paranoia, which allowed my Fairy Flumother to catch me off-guard. She whispered into my ear.... "what are you doing with all this "stuff". How many tiki bars can a girl own? How many bums does a girl have to allow her to sit on the huge collection of saucer chairs you have stashed downstairs...?

As I crawled out of my sick bed in a lather of sweat, I went from room to room taking in the array of "stuff" I had collected over the past 20 or so years.

I opened cupboards to find 10 Sunbeam mixmaster bowls - eventhough I only have 1 Sunbeam Mixmaster. To find a pile of aprons to rival the Masterchef kitchen. To find so many pastel plates I could supply my own cafe 5 times over.

I ventured under the house to find enough "stuff" to provide a small suburb with enough furniture for each of their residents to furnish their homes comfortably.

There was only one thing to do - GET BUSY SELLING....

I tried selling at a garage sale, only to have Antique Dealers arrive as the sun rose.

I tried selling on eBay, but the production designer/merchandiser in me needed to express herself in a way more tactile.

Then, a light bulb moment. With my passion, experience and knowledge of all things of Vintage fabulousness.......I decided to bite the bullet and start my own Business.

One week later, I was registering my business name  as "The Click-Clack Lounge". My name was chosen as it reminded me of the place I would sleep at my Grandparents when I was little. On a fabulous maroon, gold and white vinyl flecked pull-out lounge.

Weeks went by quickly as I worked like an Elf at Christmas time, preparing treasures to stock in "The Lounge".

Each week I would be torn between "keep" or "sell" - knowing that many of my "babies" would never be found or seen again.

BUT, I haven't looked back - I've even made some space for another collection of saucer chairs.....